If you think all a woman carries when she goes out for a night on the town is a cute handbag …think again. She also carries on her shoulders the following list of responsibilities the entire night. (And let me tell you, this shit is heavy!)
Here’s hoping that one day, in the not too distant future, women of the world can go out and, oh, I don’t know, NOT worry about being attacked. Women can go to bars, dressed how they like, drinking as much as they like and simply have a carefree night. Party and not worry–image that. No, wait–CHEERS TO THAT!
1. Don’t go out alone–have a buddy system–safety in numbers and all that good stuff.
2. Carry mace or a rape-whistle or one of the hundreds of self-defense products sold to women.
3. Don’t dress too skimpy or flashy or sophisticated or, or, I don’t know, I guess just not in any way that ‘asks’ to be attacked, you know? Use your best judgment on this one. But still look cute of course!
4. Think twice about a ponytail (attackers can grab you by it)
5. Think twice about high heels (harder to run from attacker)
6. Tell someone where you going and what time you expect to be home so they know to check up on you (in case you get attacked). Or download one of these hand-dandy ‘Personal Safety’ apps before you leave for the night.
7. Don’t accept drinks from strangers (may be roofied = attack) But also, don’t be rude if a guy wants to buy you a drink. I mean, DO NOT DRINK IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, but just really try not to be rude either.
8. If you’re really worried about being roofied, buy that lipstick, or nail polish, or straw-thingy which detects drugs before you drink anything. Fun new accessory, right gals?!?
9. If you’re particularly worried, and need a way to ‘escape’ a situation, check the back of the stall doors in the girl’s bathroom–there’s usually a code word you can say to a female bartender to help you.
10. Don’t drink too much. You’re more likely to get attacked if you’re drunk. Have fun! But you know, not too much fun.
11. Think twice about calling an Uber or Lyft to get home (lots of those guys attack women). You’re basically getting into a stranger’s car, and we all know that’s a no-no.
12. Don’t walk home from the bar alone, or with a stranger, or if you’re too drunk, or near an ally, but also don’t drive drunk, or go anywhere near your parked car at night because an attacker may be in your backseat waiting to pounce, or hiding under your car, or as soon as you hit ‘unlock’ on the doors an attacker will jump in the passenger seat, but also, don’t call an Uber (see #11)
13. And GOD HELP YOU if you’re a college girl reading this…hopefully your University has ‘rape phones’, or ‘safe rides’ around campus like mine did. ‘Cause that definitely stops attacks. (It doesn’t)
14. Oh, and a note on #1…it’s critical that you don’t separate from your buddy, like, at all during the night. I mean, of course go dance, and like I said, HAVE FUN, just keep an eagle eye on your friend the entire night. Maybe, like, watch how much she’s drinking, and who she’s talking to, and shit is she wearing heels?? And who bought her that drink?? You know what, just leave. Grab her and get outta there.
Except, shit…how will you get home??